Browse the directory and start planning today! Truth is that getting married and saying wedding vows is a serious affair, as promises of a lifetime are made. "I want us to grow old and crusty together, to shake our collective fists at teenagers, and to talk endlessly about the old days when things were better, cheaper, and generally more wholesome. A poem of comedy and marriage advice all mixed into one funny wedding ceremony reading. I keep thinking of the beginning of UP... is that a problem? I promise to love you through Ikea, be it during the buying or assembly of furniture procured therein. I might have accidentally cursed you. ", "I promise not to force you to watch a Gilmore Girls marathon. Wedding Dresses. If you are not driving, however…”, “In front of our friends and family gathered here, I promise to love and cherish you in good times and in bad.

But if that just doesn't sound right for you and your partner, consider writing funny wedding vows. He never leaves the seat upOr wet towels upon the floorThe toothpaste has the lid onAnd he always shuts the door!She’s very clean and tidyThough she may sometimes deludeLeave your things out at your perilIn a second they’ll have moved!He’s a very active personAs are all his next of kinWhere as she likes lazy daysHe’ll still drag her to the gym!He romances her and dines herHome cooked dinners and the likeHe even knows her favorite foodAnd spoils her day and night!She’s thoughtful when he looks at herA smile upon his faceWill he look that good in 50 yearsWhen his dentures aren’t in place? Love me when I'm old and shockingPeel off my elastic stockingsSwing me from the chandeliersLet's be randy bad old dears.Push around my chromed Bath ChairLet me tease your white chest hairScaring children, swapping denturesLet us have some great adventures.Take me to your special placesWatching all the puzzled facesYou in shorts and socks and sandalsMe with warts and huge love-handles.As the need for love enthrallsWrestle with my damp proof smallsMake me laugh without constraintBuy me chocolate body paint.Hold me safe throughout the nightWhen my hair has turned to whiteBelieve me when I say it's trueI've waited all my life for you. Spell it out, should I? Make of our hearts one enormous 8 chambered heart. And I don't care if I have to fight an ultimate fighter, or a bear, or him (points to a random guest), or your mom. I will love you in sickness and in health, as long as you take care of the vet visits.”, “Let’s be dumb together — just plain stupid. Funny wedding vows are a great way to lighten up an otherwise solemn ceremony, and also make it more memorable. They can help calm any nerves while lightening up the traditional wedding ceremony for your guests. I am so sorry... Once I take your hand, I promise I'll never let you go - our clothes will have to be specially made - but it’ll be worth it. ", "I promise to unclog the drain, even though you're the only one of us who has long hair. "I Michael, take you, Jessica to be my lawfully wedded wife and chief tennis doubles partner, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, for when we win and the very, very rare occasion when we lose. Start and close with it. Often, couples choose to write serious, sentimental vows to each other. Writing your wedding vows can be an overwhelming task. I vow never to steal your covers, unless you are hogging them. But if that just doesn't sound right for you and your partner, consider writing funny wedding vows. Many times, you can use traditional vows as inspiration and add a few personal, whimsical, or funny sentences to bring smiles to your guests' faces. I wanna spend the rest of my life, every minute, with you, and I am the luckiest man in the galaxy. ", "I vow to protect you from spiders as long as we both shall live. This I vow to you. The rest of their vows were just cute. As the wise Salt n Pepa said, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. You are the Matt to my Ben, the Carmen to my Miranda and the Bernedette to my Peters. I promise to turn on the air conditioning when you are hot, even if I am totally freezing. Not only will they make your S.O. I vow to be your spell checker, grammar friend, and tell you when things need hyphens. Why we love it: If you’re having a religious ceremony, or even if you believe in a higher power, this lovely quote, from St. Elmo’s Fire, is serious, but also humorous at the same time, the perfect mix for the wedding vows of a bride or groom who isn’t afraid to have a little fun during such an important moment. I vow to somehow get to the end of this thing without ugly crying. That's why we were meant to be! ""Sandwiches"-Frozen, "To love each other, even when we hate each other. I promise to cuddle with you as much as I do Spot and pick up treats for you whenever he gets some, too. It’s much easier for everyone to laugh when they’re in on the joke! From this day forward, I will lint roll the chairs whenever your parents visit. There’s an old Irish saying that goes, Cramagorrah Rowe Egonhah. I love you more than Midwesterners love John Cougar Mellencamp.

I vow as your wife to always support your dreams, even the one about the whale in the living room. From the moment you entered my world, you have filled it with life, colour, and energy like never before…like kool-aid in a mud puddle…or a cupcake in a salad…or a rose garden in a junkyard. "-How I Met Your Mother, "The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. ", "I promise to take Instagram-worthy photos of you. It may be tempting to keep your wedding vows a secret from each other, but in the long run, it may be best to agree on the tone and content together for the big day. ", "As the wise Salt n Pepa said, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man. I promise to love you anywhere (with apologies to Seuss). Visit their Website. I vow not to take any of your less pleasing habits personally, even though I really wish you would put the keys back on the key hook, and not leave your shoes in the middle of the hallway, and I love you. Discover thoughtful gifts, creative ideas and endless inspiration to create meaningful memories with family and friends. But, now more than ever, couples also want their wedding to be a reflection of who they are—their style, their personality, and their sense of humor. Now that we have gotten skinny for this wedding, let's get real fat together. Sharing your wedding vows at least a month in advance encourages a complementary flow. I promise to unclog the tub, even though you are the only one of us with long hair. I promise to be your co-pilot, your navigator, and to bring snacks on our road-trip through life. There’s an art to writing funny wedding vows just like there’s an art to writing a well-delivered joke. "-The Notebook, "I love you. I like you a lotYou’re funny and kindSo let me explainWhat I have in mind.I want to be Your Personal PenguinI want to walk right by your sideI want to be Your Personal PenguinI want to travel with you far and wide.Wherever you go, I’ll go there tooHere and there and ev’rywhereAnd always with you.I want to be Your Personal PenguinFrom now on.Now lots of other penguins seem to do fineIn a universe of nothing but iceBut if I could be yours and you could be mineA cozy little world would be twice as nice.I want to be Your Personal PenguinI want to talk with you night and dayI want to be Your Personal PenguinI want to listen to whatever you say.Look at these wings, so perfect to hold youI’d like to say againWhat I have already told youLet me be Your Personal PenguinFrom now on.Now lots of other penguins seem to do fineIn a universe of nothing but iceBut if I could be yours and you could be mineA cozy little world would be twice as nice.I want to be (want to be) Your Personal PenguinI want to walk right by your sideI want to be (want to be) Your Personal PenguinI want to travel with you far and wide.Wherever you go, I’ll go there tooHere and there and ev’rywhereAnd always with you.I want to be Your Personal PenguinImagine me, Your Personal PenguinI want to be Your Personal PenguinFrom now on.

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