Who would ever be scared of Santa Claus? I could have gone to a real doctor instead of pretending I was a big dog so I could go to the vet. What a stupid age I am. I was scared, dawg, but then I remembered my parole officer's advice, "keep your mouth shut or they'll throw a book at you.". Eating frozen yogurt and then having diarrhea and then eating more frozen yogurt and then more diarrhea. What do you guys think The Bad Place is gonna be for you? I say we go through the portal, get a good night's sleep, come back fresh in the morning. The Good Place.

— Jason Mendoza, The Good Place, Season 2: Janet and Michael Tagged: One-Sided Relationship , Toxic Relationships “You know my whole life, whenever I encountered any obstacles, I would simply say, 'I would like to speak to a manager.' Whenever we auditioned a new dancer, we would rate them in five categories: dancing ability, coolness, dopeness, freshness, and smart-brained. No, that sounds stupid.

Well, technically, it was just a bunch of kiddie pools full of jellyfish, and instead of a killer whale, they killed a whale. A different clock land. If you believe that any Site Content infringes upon your copyright, please notify us by email support@quotecatalog.com. Where do you think we are? He's going to call you in there in a second.Jason: Don't worry, I got you. Awesome! The Good Place 03x01: Everything Is Bonzer!

Eleanor: I hate to be the bearer of bad news...Jason: Uh, I think you mean Bad News Bear. Jason: Yo, yo! I can't believe Michael betrayed us again. Michael: No, sorry. Apples you eat their clothes, but oranges you don't? I was just about to tell an awesome story about a wing-eating contest that I lost, and a barfing contest that I won, but then a hole opened up in the ground. I could have paid my rent.

They all hold a special place in our hearts, though Jason Mendoza is far and away our favorite Good Place resident there ever was. What the? Michael: I'm an immortal being with abilities you can only dream of.Eleanor: Yeah, and we're an Arizona dirt bag, a human turtleneck, a narcissistic monster, and literally the dumbest person I've ever met.Jason: And who am I? Tweet us @womendotcom or message us on Facebook to tell us. The Good Place 01x11: What's My Motivation, The Good Place 02x10: Rhonda, Diana, Jake, and Trent, The Good Place 01x08: Most Improved Player, The Good Place 02x02: Dance Dance Resolution, The Good Place 02x05: The Trolley Problem, The Good Place 01x06: What We Owe to Each Other, The Good Place 01x05: Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis.

We keep fighting with each other, none of the TVs get the NFL RedZone channel, my soulmate doesn't even know who Blake Bortles is. No quotes available.. Jason: I’ll tell you what I want to know right now before we go any further. You don't really eat these pancakes. Oh! From Transformers?

Jason: Yeah, we all need to be able to cheat off Chidi. There's something wrong about that, but I can't put my finger on what it is.”. Eleanor: Can we be tested together as a group? Jason Mendoza is the perfect example of “the Florida man.” He loves Blake Bortles, is an EDM DJ, and throws Molotov cocktails in his spare time. I'm scared! Always ranting about Derek Bortles. I think we gotta go to the cops.Eleanor: What cops? — Jason Mendoza, The Good Place, Season 2: Janet and Michael Tagged: One-Sided Relationship , Toxic Relationships “ Jason: You're saying a lot of words right now, and I only know some of them, like 'rat' and 'Jason,' but I know a little wisdom I can give you. I have to watch the Jaguars games at home on my computer at like, 3:00 in the morning on Mondays.

Like, a different zone of time. There's something messed up with this place. In Jacksonville, I got a flu virus named after me 'cause I kissed a bat on a dare.

"I wasn't a failed DJ, I was pre-successful.". If my life ended today, what would my legacy be? Lucky for you my friend, Jaguars games are the only ones televised in the Bad Place because they suuuck!Jason: No they don't! – Jason Mendoza, The Good Place 4×13 Leave it to Jason to put the apex of existence in such simple, beautiful words. Maybe I should've realized this isn't The Good Place because of all the diarrhea.Chidi: Maybe you shouldn't be eating all that frozen yogurt right now.

It's just like a hole where me and my buds can hang out. Yo, you should listen to me. NBC's The Good Place is filled with a cast of not just good, but great characters. That means every day, you think 20 thoughts about dance for seven minutes.

That's shotgun on Optimus Prime. ", "We’re refugees. I wasn't a failed DJ. I forgot. Oh! I would give you an eight in every category.Tahani: Well, eight isn't bad, I suppose.Jason: No, no, eight is the best! Did the Jacksonville Jaguars win the Super Bowl last year?Michael: Oh, you’re serious. Man, there's so many times that just this amount of money would have changed my life. They took the walls, they took the floors, and we were standing here the whole time? Jason: I don't know, this plan seems complicated.Eleanor: To be fair, you also once said that about an orange.Jason: They don't make sense. ", "I miss being myself. I miss being myself. Oh, that's why your name is Chidi. Michael: There's also an IHOP.Jason: Oh! ", "Anytime I had a problem and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! Tahani's doing a brunch party and I want to get there before all the mini-waffles run out. Terms of Use • I have no idea what's going on right now but everyone else is talking and I think I should too! All we need is a defense and an offense and some rule changes. I'm gonna order the Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity! You're awesome! And she talks so smart, like, um, Nala, from The Lion King. And if we're on a team now, we need nicknames.

Gel Mibson: ... this person. She's my everything. Uh, knock, knock.Chidi: Who's there?Michael: You died alone because you couldn't commit to anyone.Jason: You died alone because you couldn't commit to anyone who?

I'm Filipino. It was a scale of one to thirteen but eight is highest.

She makes the bass drop in my heart. Right away, I had a different problem. That's what you can each call me. Privacy Statement • All you had to do was to keep quiet, but you couldn't stop talking about Kendall Jenner or that dumb quarterback, what was his name, Derek Bortles? “That's all there is; there isn't anymore.” —Ethel Barrymore, “I'm too young to die and too old to eat off the kids' menu. Michael: Jason, buddy. It's a glowing cube.Jason: Like the All-Spark? Optimus, Bumblebee, Jazz, ugh, Megatron. I'll get eggs, then. Myself was the best.

The Good Place's Jason Mendoza, the lovable goofball from Jacksonville, Florida, made his way into his fans' hearts with these 10 quotes. And if we're on a team now, we need nicknames. ", "Yo, you should listen to me. I get it now. Eleanor: Listen up, genius. I'm a pretty good listener.Jason: Well, my year started about a year ago... Jason: Can I ask you a question about where we're going?Eleanor: Sure.Jason: Where are we going? I'll probably go to a Skrillex concert and I'll be waiting for the bass drop, and it... it'll never come. I could have gone to a real doctor instead of pretending I was a big dog so I could go to the vet. Prepare yourself for the laugh of a lifetime as you read through them yourself here! But no, they won’t. There's no train to catch. ", "She's my everything. This is my bud-hole!

Michael has a lie detector in there. However, it is much better to take a look at the complimentary quotes at the Web and online source of details for quotes. I know this sounds crazy, but I think we're in the bad place.Michael: Jason figured it out? I had a really tough year.Michael: I'm sorry. Sure, I did a wheelie on a dirt bike through an entire Waffle House, and I was once interviewed on the news for finding a foot on the beach, but yo, other than that, I have no truly great accomplishments. ", "Man, there's so many times that just this amount of money would have changed my life.

Pretty beautiful. My cousin once hired me to do crowd control for his off-brand SeaWorld. Sort Quotes by Character: Eleanor Shellstrop • Chidi Anagonye • Tahani Al-Jamil • Janet • Jason Mendoza • Michael • Others. Jason: Back in Jacksonville, I was in charge of a 60-person dance crew.

I don't know how to describe it. Jason? Visit our site now! These guys are good.

What kind of messed up place would turn away refugees? I love getting my name on stuff.

Anytime I had a problem and I threw a Molotov cocktail, boom! They all hold a special place in our hearts, though Jason Mendoza is far and away our favorite Good Place resident there ever was.

He's the ultimate scene-stealer, always dropping a nonsensical line that leaves us laughing for days on end.

Describe me now! Now we need nicknames for you guys. After dying, he somehow keeps his spirits high and delivers hilarious lines. There are many quotes offered free. Which Jason quote made you wish you met him in the Good Place?

Do you realize how insane that is?Jason: Not as insane as picking off the greatest quarterback of all time, Black Bortles, to set up a last second game-winning field goal. Michael: What?Jason: I can't believe we get to ride a real-life Optimus Prime. I'm telling you, Molotov cocktails work. Heaven is so racist. That's racist. I was pre-successful.

I came up with hundreds of plans in my life and only one of them got me killed. I could have paid my rent.

", "Awesome! All rights reserved. What a stupid age I am.”, “Here's the thing. No.Jason: Will they every win the Super Bowl?Michael: Jason, I can’t predict the future. Want to talk about it? ", "Claustrophobic?

I mean, you basically told me, an all-knowing judge, to just shut up and go away. ", "I know this sounds crazy, but I'm starting to think there might be more to life than amateur street dancing competitions. She's so pretty, like Nala from The Lion King. I'm too young to die and too old to eat off the kids menu! Quoted in: ", "I'm too young to die and too old to eat off the kids menu! NBC's The Good Place is filled with a cast of not just good, but great characters.. Jason: I don't want to lose you, girl.Janet: I'm not a girl. The point is, you're cool, dope, fresh, and smart-brained.

Right away, I had a different problem. Homies, check it!

A man who is so flagrantly ignoring the "one lollipop per customer" rule.Jason: No, I walked out and back in each time, so I'm different customers. We gave it our best shot, guys. She makes the bass drop in my heart. By Meagan Cahuasqui Feb 17, 2020 Share Share Tweet Email What a stupid age I am. Michael: Now, getting to the Good Place is pretty tricky. Good Place Quotes is a website dedicated to listing some of the memorable quotes of the series The Good Place. Jason: And to Janet, the best robot.Janet: Not a robot.Jason: Girl.Janet: Not a girl.Jason: And straight-up hottie.Janet: I am attractive, yes. Be nicer to yourself.

Judge Gen: Jason, your test was about impulse control, and you showed great improvements, but you never asked if you could opt not to play. Jason Mendoza, The Good Place 01x05: Category 55 Emergency Doomsday Crisis I was just about to tell an awesome story about a wing-eating contest that I lost, and a barfing contest that I won, but then a hole opened up in the ground. Why is it always the ones you most expect? Myself was the best. I'll just tell Michael you're the bomb and that you got a dope soul and hella ethics.Eleanor: Oh, boy. Michael: Oh, Chidi, Sorry, I got a joke for you, bud. Optimus, Bumblebee, Jazz, ugh, Megatron.

Don't say any of that.

Now we need nicknames for you guys. I don't know how I got here, I have no idea what's going on, and I am freakin' out homie! In Jacksonville, I got a flu virus named after me 'cause I kissed a bat on a dare.". Tahani: Gosh, you're pretty.Jason: No, you're pretty.



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